Name Suggestions: Sexlexia (it's pseudolatin for "law of sex" and also a Futurama reference!); Slutology; Libertina; Seductress; V.A.S. Deference
1. Very excited about this, especially if I can get it delivered to my podcast app
2. Not at all excited about this. Evopsych is useful in very limited circumstances, and "let's all speculate about how our mating behavior evolved" is one of the *least* useful. A lot of the value from your blog comes from how data-driven it is and this is not a data-driven area, mostly consisting of guesswork and just-so stories
3. Sounds like it could be excellent or terrible, but excited to see which one!
4. Will probably be good if questions are curated well
5. So enticing!
In general, I already have far too much to read, and a blog updating regularly actually makes me less inclined to subscribe. I would focus on quality of quantity or posting on a regular schedule. The best value you can provide is by NOT giving us a bunch of churned-out content and only publishing things that you find engaging.
> Do you hate it? What do you consider the ideal posting frequency for this blog?
As much as possible lol. I'd say publish as frequently as your standard of quality allows. =)
> What sort of content that I’ve already published would you like to see more of? How much do you want to see more of my usual content, as I was publishing before the good-at-sex series? Now’s the chance to get in feedback that might help steer a large ship for a while.
I'm more of a fan of the good-at-sex series, but I also enjoyed some of your posts before. A few of my favorites:
I don't know if I'm just horrible at parsing text but I've found the Good at Sex series to be highly confusing, full of indirect hints vs. straightforward instructions, and overall not all that useful to me despite trying my hardest to follow it. The only good part was the chart showing which sex acts women like vs what men do, the rest of the content seemed like its trying to communicate to a more "sophisticated" (?) audience.
I would appreciate a dumbed down version for readers like me that explicitly says DO THIS and DO NOT DO THIS, straight to the point and without any obfuscation. I.e. the "how to hire an escort" post was much better from this perspective.
I would also be interested in the perspective of women who are outside the "hyper poly slut cloud", as I'm not sure if the provided advice generalizes that well for "normie, straight, monog" women.
FYI, the casting-call sign-up survey has cities (NYC, Austin, etc.) as disjoint categories. You can only select one. Not sure if that's what you intended.
Sexticians, “squad” is fun so what about Smart Sex Slut Squad, Data Slut Squad, Slutty Data Squad, DASS = Data Analytics Slut Squad. Don’t love these. Anyway, Aella, so many of us are flooded and overwhelmed with overflowing reading lists. I know it’s hard these days to hold the line on quality over quantity, but to me at least your brand of really smart, data-driven, long form content is what I love about your work and content. Personally, I come to resent blogs or content providers that try to push more and more and more content through channels already exploding at the seams. When quality erodes, especially in the face of increasing quantity, I typically split. I do appreciate you wanting to provide more value, but I’d proceed slowly and cautiously.
What Aella is writing is very good. Actual research and data. Intelligent content by someone who has done sex work and understands what people are looking for. It is expensive for the amount of content, but not that expensive.
Casting about for filler content to get more paid subscribers will mean, well, more filler content. In time, "10 ways to ..." clickbait. We can find that elsewhere, for free. Blogging for money is a volume business. Must Post Something Every Day. Must Get More Subscribers. That ends with content so generic that you can turn the writing over to ChatGPT. Please don't go there.
While I may enjoy the consensual use of the word slut for playful arousal, my suggestion is to use SPW, or Sex Positive Women, as the a basis for naming your squad. It’s not sexy or clever, but it is the most literally true.
We have exchanged comments a couple of times now when I have chimed in on questions of statistical methodology that you raised on this blog.
I am a graduate student in the last semester of a program focusing on statistical methods for psychological research, especially analysis of survey response data. I don't have my next full time job lined up yet, and I have a fair amount of free time on my hands now.
I am also a Less Wrong-reading former gay escort and pro-dom with some other oddities in my life history and a longstanding habit of thinking philosophically about sex.
I think we could work out some kind of collaboration or internship through which I could help take this blog to the next level. I am available for statistical consulting, research design, content development, repackaging your work for submission to research journals or psy arxiv, or to contribute as a guest columnist on gay sex or on the bisexual male perspective on straight sex.
Let me know if you'd like to discuss further. My next week or so is pretty packed and so I would need time to develop a proper pitch.
I'm interested in everything you've outlined above. I might also be interested in anything you've learned about longer term relationships, and how the sexual dynamics change therein.
Let me know if you'd like to connect with folks from the NYC kink community. I'd be happy to put out a call to women in our community, we have a ton of really sharp femmes who care about this topic a great deal.
I'm one of the founders of HitMeUpNYC.com, a poly and kink community that has a play party venue and does classes on a lot of similar topics and with similar focus on analysis and non-judgmental understanding of what's really going on pyschologically during kink and sexually-driven activities. Classes on scene building, hypnosis, and more bear a lot of similarity to what you're talking about, though I found a lot of value in reading your perspective, it crystallized and explained some really helpful things.
Side note, if you're ever in NYC and would like to do an in-person lecture edition of this series, we'd love to hire you to teach it for our community.
(answering this from my alt for privacy reasons, I read the series through my real name account)
Lots of good ideas. Here's one more: sex and love. You once wrote that you felt love, and loved, some of your clients, and that your engagements with them produced deep, almost therapeutic conversations. Many people (including me) feel that sex without love is ... well, what are some good words? So, if you can get the VAS ladies as well as let's say hot women who have found love and sex in a long-term relationship, everyone might get new insights.
Name Suggestions: Sexlexia (it's pseudolatin for "law of sex" and also a Futurama reference!); Slutology; Libertina; Seductress; V.A.S. Deference
1. Very excited about this, especially if I can get it delivered to my podcast app
2. Not at all excited about this. Evopsych is useful in very limited circumstances, and "let's all speculate about how our mating behavior evolved" is one of the *least* useful. A lot of the value from your blog comes from how data-driven it is and this is not a data-driven area, mostly consisting of guesswork and just-so stories
3. Sounds like it could be excellent or terrible, but excited to see which one!
4. Will probably be good if questions are curated well
5. So enticing!
In general, I already have far too much to read, and a blog updating regularly actually makes me less inclined to subscribe. I would focus on quality of quantity or posting on a regular schedule. The best value you can provide is by NOT giving us a bunch of churned-out content and only publishing things that you find engaging.
I'd love to read more from Diana Fleischman.
> So - how do you guys feel about this?
Great!
> Which of the items draw you in the most?
3 > 2 > 1 > 4
> Do you hate it? What do you consider the ideal posting frequency for this blog?
As much as possible lol. I'd say publish as frequently as your standard of quality allows. =)
> What sort of content that I’ve already published would you like to see more of? How much do you want to see more of my usual content, as I was publishing before the good-at-sex series? Now’s the chance to get in feedback that might help steer a large ship for a while.
I'm more of a fan of the good-at-sex series, but I also enjoyed some of your posts before. A few of my favorites:
https://aella.substack.com/p/i-dont-get-the-way-most-people-learn?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2
https://aella.substack.com/p/the-identity-of-tits?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2
https://aella.substack.com/p/handling-accusations-in-communities?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2
https://aella.substack.com/p/frame-control?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2
https://aella.substack.com/p/what-i-learned-from-my-date-me-experiment?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2
Analytical Slut Squad
I don't know if I'm just horrible at parsing text but I've found the Good at Sex series to be highly confusing, full of indirect hints vs. straightforward instructions, and overall not all that useful to me despite trying my hardest to follow it. The only good part was the chart showing which sex acts women like vs what men do, the rest of the content seemed like its trying to communicate to a more "sophisticated" (?) audience.
I would appreciate a dumbed down version for readers like me that explicitly says DO THIS and DO NOT DO THIS, straight to the point and without any obfuscation. I.e. the "how to hire an escort" post was much better from this perspective.
I would also be interested in the perspective of women who are outside the "hyper poly slut cloud", as I'm not sure if the provided advice generalizes that well for "normie, straight, monog" women.
FYI, the casting-call sign-up survey has cities (NYC, Austin, etc.) as disjoint categories. You can only select one. Not sure if that's what you intended.
Sexticians, “squad” is fun so what about Smart Sex Slut Squad, Data Slut Squad, Slutty Data Squad, DASS = Data Analytics Slut Squad. Don’t love these. Anyway, Aella, so many of us are flooded and overwhelmed with overflowing reading lists. I know it’s hard these days to hold the line on quality over quantity, but to me at least your brand of really smart, data-driven, long form content is what I love about your work and content. Personally, I come to resent blogs or content providers that try to push more and more and more content through channels already exploding at the seams. When quality erodes, especially in the face of increasing quantity, I typically split. I do appreciate you wanting to provide more value, but I’d proceed slowly and cautiously.
Gotta be thot leaders
Verified Analytical Girls seems like a better name for obvious reasons.
What Aella is writing is very good. Actual research and data. Intelligent content by someone who has done sex work and understands what people are looking for. It is expensive for the amount of content, but not that expensive.
Casting about for filler content to get more paid subscribers will mean, well, more filler content. In time, "10 ways to ..." clickbait. We can find that elsewhere, for free. Blogging for money is a volume business. Must Post Something Every Day. Must Get More Subscribers. That ends with content so generic that you can turn the writing over to ChatGPT. Please don't go there.
While I may enjoy the consensual use of the word slut for playful arousal, my suggestion is to use SPW, or Sex Positive Women, as the a basis for naming your squad. It’s not sexy or clever, but it is the most literally true.
Squad name ideas:
The Randy Corporation
Clitical Thinkers
The Whores of Mensa (h/t Woody Allen)
Game Theory Club
The Baesians
The Bimbayesians
Aella,
We have exchanged comments a couple of times now when I have chimed in on questions of statistical methodology that you raised on this blog.
I am a graduate student in the last semester of a program focusing on statistical methods for psychological research, especially analysis of survey response data. I don't have my next full time job lined up yet, and I have a fair amount of free time on my hands now.
I am also a Less Wrong-reading former gay escort and pro-dom with some other oddities in my life history and a longstanding habit of thinking philosophically about sex.
I think we could work out some kind of collaboration or internship through which I could help take this blog to the next level. I am available for statistical consulting, research design, content development, repackaging your work for submission to research journals or psy arxiv, or to contribute as a guest columnist on gay sex or on the bisexual male perspective on straight sex.
Let me know if you'd like to discuss further. My next week or so is pretty packed and so I would need time to develop a proper pitch.
- Orion
I'm interested in everything you've outlined above. I might also be interested in anything you've learned about longer term relationships, and how the sexual dynamics change therein.
Let me know if you'd like to connect with folks from the NYC kink community. I'd be happy to put out a call to women in our community, we have a ton of really sharp femmes who care about this topic a great deal.
I'm one of the founders of HitMeUpNYC.com, a poly and kink community that has a play party venue and does classes on a lot of similar topics and with similar focus on analysis and non-judgmental understanding of what's really going on pyschologically during kink and sexually-driven activities. Classes on scene building, hypnosis, and more bear a lot of similarity to what you're talking about, though I found a lot of value in reading your perspective, it crystallized and explained some really helpful things.
Side note, if you're ever in NYC and would like to do an in-person lecture edition of this series, we'd love to hire you to teach it for our community.
(answering this from my alt for privacy reasons, I read the series through my real name account)
Lots of good ideas. Here's one more: sex and love. You once wrote that you felt love, and loved, some of your clients, and that your engagements with them produced deep, almost therapeutic conversations. Many people (including me) feel that sex without love is ... well, what are some good words? So, if you can get the VAS ladies as well as let's say hot women who have found love and sex in a long-term relationship, everyone might get new insights.