24 Comments

So everyone likes to be desired and to fall in love, but the ladies like to be safe (makes sense given the risk) and powerless and for the guy to be primal and smug (but they really don't like it when the guy's powerless), whereas the guys like to be safe and primal but less than half are actually into power play.

You know, Aella, I think they're not after you because you're Not an Official Researcher. I think they're after you because you say all the stuff they've been lying to us about for years. And you've got a sample of hundreds of thousands.

The emperor has no clothes. I hope you keep roasting sacred cows. I like steak.

Expand full comment

Seems weird that 70+% of women said they're turned on by feelings of safety for themselves, yet 55% said they were aroused by feelings of vulnerability. Those seem like completely opposite feelings. There's no such thing as safe and vulnerable/powerless at the same time.

I really hate that the more I read your data, the more annoying I find women.

Expand full comment

Look at the gaps!

Smugness. Who knew.

All my gf’s, obviously.

Expand full comment

One thing that strikes me about erotic emotions (and kinks) is that they are so widely expressed in popular culture. Take grief. Bottom of the list. When my favorite aunt died I went to the funeral with my wife. Afterward, we had passionate sex (mostly brief non-climaxing) about 20 times that day. So my reaction to death and loss was an erotic (so many mirrors) celebration of life while also seeking comfort and companionship. This seemed a bit odd to me but it later was explained in a show I watched as a common reaction to a death. I have since observed this as fairly common in others (with the caveat that death is not so common where I live).

I think there is a difference between the erotic experiences we seek and erotic responses to life. Our cultural stories suggest we respond to and can understand a much wider range of erotic responses than are commonly intellectually identified. In some sense, cinema is often looking at obscure themes but it also often looks at common human reactions to less common events. "Harold and Maude" comes to mind and "Six Feet Under." We don't think of grief as sexy but our stories suggest it does often turn people on.

Expand full comment

I wish I could write such articles, I can then increase traffic to your website. Please some tips on how to do it if it is a long https://americasuits.com/the-summer-i-turned-pretty-jermiah-hoodie phase process?

Expand full comment

It seems that women are is higher than men on most things. I wonder what it'd look like if you normalized men and women separately for each category.

Expand full comment

Aella, after years admiring your FL presentation -- beauty, humor, sensuality -- I'm now struck by the intellectual presentation you bring here. If you know Ken Wilber's work, I liken his revisionist approach to psychology to what you seem to be moving towards -- a far more in-depth understanding of how sexual energy works, from motivation to arousal, behaviors and outcomes (pun intended).

I know you're busy... understatement that must be... but I would like to get your reaction to my theory about the overlap between disciplined Power Exchange, fem empowerment and sacred sexuality; specifically, the ways in which Taoist models, alongside Eiffers and Offringa, seem to show transcendent experience arising from multiple orgasms, extended over time, in women.

How does connect with you on topics of common interest?

William

Expand full comment

Emotional clusters, how emotions correlate when people feel multiple emotions seems interesting. We can guess but I wonder if there is a way to pull it out of the data. How often are emotions pure verses an emotional cocktail and what cocktails do people like? Fairly obvious at the top but maybe not as obvious at the bottom.

Expand full comment

These are interesting stats

Expand full comment