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Leo Nyagahima's avatar

I found something similar to the void, through my own meditation. There is still more for me to find, maybe when I figure out how to get lsd, broke man in a third world country. Maybe when I reach better understanding, but probably never... it is the void after all. I'm not ready to die, not fully anyway.

And I fell in love with the void. There is beauty in nothingness, no pressure of expectation, no disappointment, just the bliss of existence. But I had to leave.

I have desires, desires stronger than my need to void. Like a desire to love, and be loved. But while I loved deeper when one with the void, I could not live those I loved in the way they wanted to be loved. And they would never love me in the way I wanted to be loved, nothingness and all. So I had to look away, to forget, so I could look at them, and maybe they would see me too.

And, even if I know it's impossible, I find myself looking for that divinity, that knowing, in the people around me. And when it's just me and the void, alone at night where I don't have to look away, I dream of experiencing the void with those who would love it as much as I do.

Thank you for your post, your writing is beautiful, and inspiring.

Thank you for a new lexicon of words and ideas through which I can express this abstractness.

And for showing and sharing your knowing.

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Diary of Sisyphus's avatar

“The understanding was the rejection. I’d been swirling around it like a galaxy in my search this entire time, and the moment I finally laid eyes upon the white hot core, I fell into and through its event horizon. I was reversed, I was undone. I was completely, finally, mercifully, finished.”

I feel like I’ve been looking for this type of writing my entire life. Just bravo, man.

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