2 Comments

This is great, thanks so much for this Aella. You’ve really articulated for me something I couldn’t articulate for myself.

Lately I have been going through stage three of this process with my somewhat bad childhood.

I find myself deeply angry and in great pain over events from my past. Events that I haven’t consciously thought about in years. The dominant narrative I hear from my friends is that I am releasing trauma and this is a painful but healing experience.

However, part of me thinks I’m taking things I’ve coped with and making them traumatic. And I’m hurting myself and my relationships with my family by doing that.

I genuinely do not know if either of these conflicting narratives about my past are correct. Never in my life have I found my own internal state so hard to understand.

It’s really good to hear some alternative perspectives on trauma. Thanks again.

Expand full comment

Did you have any sense of resistance to surrendering the trauma narrative, because that would "give up an important truth" or "let the abuser win" or anything like that? If so how did you deal with it; if not have you encountered people who do, and how did they deal with it? Did they find ways around it, or alternative ways to heal, or what?

Expand full comment