Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Nancy Lebovitz's avatar

Is obfuscation about status true of all times and places? My impression is that the ancient Greeks and Egyptians (yes, a lot of people spread over a long time) were content to be blunt about status.

Possibly our current situation is a result of Christianity and beliefs about the value of all people.

Expand full comment
Balint's avatar

It strikes me that not only is status 'local', it also switches dynamically - sometimes even within the same interaction between the same people. If we hold onto our status inflexibly in our interactions (in either direction - either insisting on and maintaining high status, or insisting on low), they become staid and boring. (The loud obnoxious guy at the party who won't listen to anyone else and just keeps banging on about things no-one else cares about like which jiu-jitsu move would be most effective in a fight with an invertebrate, the brilliant but speechless software engineer on the other side of the room). Keith johnstone says "acquaintances become friends when they agree to play status games with each other". Most people are socially conditioned to play low status (especially with strangers), and when both partners play low the interaction is generally polite and boring. A part of the allure of 'confidence' (especially in romantic contexts) is the willingness of one partner to temporarily take on the riskier role of high status (riskier because they stand to *unintentionally* lose status if they fail), but real confidence is really about being in control of the status dynamic itself.

Expand full comment
76 more comments...

No posts