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Dale's avatar

The fact that the safe word is red and the red-colored wristband means something else seems like it's setting up for first time the Stroop Effect will be the subject of expert testimony in criminal court.

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kyra's avatar

This is super interesting! This post in conjunction with your “Women prefer more violent porn (and other data)” post raise a few questions for me.

It seems that pre-puberty, playing games with high physical contact between players is super common, and widely considered fun. Games like “Red Rover” (one player runs full speed into the arms of opposing players, then attempts to fight their way through while the opposing team holds them back), “Sharks and Lifeguards” (children sit around the perimeter of a parachute with their legs extended beneath, while “shark” children under the parachute grab their ankles and attempt to drag them under, and “lifeguard” children walking around the outside attempt to drag them back to safety), and a game I learned from Israeli counselors at a summer camp that I think they called something like “pisu kim” (one player tries to physically restrain another from taking a vacant seat across the circle, always resulting in extended wrestling matches and intense struggle), and a few more come to mind, all of which were co-ed. It seems that when we’re children, we have no issue with accepting the joy that comes from the adrenaline rush of attempting to physically escape from and/or restrain someone else. Once we hit puberty, though, we seem to become hyperaware of our body’s sexual capacities, and abandon casual physical contact, relegating lesser, far more controlled versions of that type of activity to private bedrooms with highly vetted romantic partners. The type of physical struggle dynamic we once practiced openly in public without batting an eye becomes a sexual fetish carrying at least some degree of stigma in most communities.

It would be interesting to know if the people who enjoyed high physical contact games in childhood are more prone to pursuing that dynamic with sexual partners in adulthood (CNC), or if an adulthood affinity for sexual struggle is completely independent from a childhood affinity for non-sexual, high physical contact games. It would also be really interesting to know if those preferring to be in the role of aggressor in CNC also preferred being the aggressor in childhood high physical contact games, and vice versa. It makes me wonder if the rise in testosterone and estrogen experienced by adolescents plays a significant role in pushing CNC-prone individuals into aggressor and receiver categories, respectively, or if the gender split has more to do with societal gender norms. After reading your “Women prefer more violent porn (and other data)” post, I would guess society plays a far more minor role than some may assume, because people tend to watch porn that gets them off, not porn that they think society thinks they should get off to (if that makes any sense lol). Since when no one is watching, women tend to gravitate more toward aggression against women than men do, it makes me think women’s preferred role of “receiver” is related to biological wiring (which makes sense when you think about sex and evolution, and how male aggressor/female receiver is more likely to result in a child than the reverse). It makes me wonder if high physical contact games remained common and widely practiced through adolescence and adulthood, would that satisfy our attraction to that dynamic, and reduce consumption of violent porn? Who knows, maybe it would show us how much we enjoy that dynamic, and boost our consumption of violent porn. Anyway, I love your posts! Thanks for always giving me interesting things to think about

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