What the hell do you do when someone in a friend group or community goes off the rails? What if it’s unclear exactly how off the rails they are? What if reports of going off the rails have come in from people you trust? What about multiple people you only kinda trust? What if you think the off-the-rails was an isolated incident? What if it was mild but ongoing and annoying? What if they went
I think there should be a blanket rule against secrecy in accusations (like the sixth amendment to the US constitution). If anyone wants to have an accusation mean anything, they should have to put it in the open so that maximum evidence can be gathered and all sides can make their case and the accused can know what he did wrong instead of getting kafka-ed. Vague fears of retaliation against accusers are almost always overblown. It's usually extremely easy to avoid a person you don't want to see unless they're a co-worker or neighbor.
Like you said being in charge of community is really shitty. I wouldn't want to have to make that decision to Kafka someone.
If someone has well substantiated fears for their safety it's probably best to go to the police and not only quietly ban the perp from one community. But to steelman, maybe the scenario is some non-illegal thing committed by the victim's boss and the feared retaliation is not provably illegal either. In that case I could support just quietly not re-inviting the perp to any event where the victim will be. I'd also advise the victim to put herself out there to look for a new job instead of suffering under an abusive boss.
I'd be very interested to hear about any filtering strategies you have.
I think there should be a blanket rule against secrecy in accusations (like the sixth amendment to the US constitution). If anyone wants to have an accusation mean anything, they should have to put it in the open so that maximum evidence can be gathered and all sides can make their case and the accused can know what he did wrong instead of getting kafka-ed. Vague fears of retaliation against accusers are almost always overblown. It's usually extremely easy to avoid a person you don't want to see unless they're a co-worker or neighbor.
But what about situations where the fear isn't overblown? I can think of some circumstances where I would consider the fear to be very justified.
Like you said being in charge of community is really shitty. I wouldn't want to have to make that decision to Kafka someone.
If someone has well substantiated fears for their safety it's probably best to go to the police and not only quietly ban the perp from one community. But to steelman, maybe the scenario is some non-illegal thing committed by the victim's boss and the feared retaliation is not provably illegal either. In that case I could support just quietly not re-inviting the perp to any event where the victim will be. I'd also advise the victim to put herself out there to look for a new job instead of suffering under an abusive boss.