Age of fetish onset, by sex, gender, orientation, and dom/sub
In my survey about sexual fetishes, I divided all fetishes into thirty categories, and then if someone reported any interest in a category, I asked them what was the earliest age they remembered experiencing interest in this fetish.
“How old were you when you first experienced interest in [category] related sexual interests? (Including pre-puberty, proto-sexual "fascinations" that might not have been explicitly sexual yet)”
Before I tell you the age start of the fetishes, record your assumptions about what an early or late start to fetish interest might mean. It’ll be easy to post-rationalize your theories after looking at the data, so first register your predictions beforehand! I wish I’d done this before looking at my own data.
I’ve written about my general background intuitions, but for this I have a few guesses - that earlier fetishes might be more “ingrained”, as in harder-to-change, perhaps more evolutionarily influenced, and less cultural. Conversely, I’m guessing later-onset fetishes might be more culturally based, as there’s more chances that people have been exposed to more things by that point, and also more hormonally based, as hormones take a while to kick in.
(also, general disclaimer: I haven’t had other people review my code and data yet. I’ve done a lot of double-checking, but I’d estimate there’s a 10% chance of a small error somewhere, and a 5% of a large error somewhere. I plan on releasing my full data and code when I’m done.
Also, the structure of my survey introduced some noise - a lot depends on how I grouped the categories, where very different types of fetishes may have been placed together, and where it’s possible people may have misinterpreted my descriptions,. I did run the survey through a few hundred people for feedback on this, but rare fetishes means some categories got few relevant eyes on them before I published the survey.)
So here’s the list; I got this by averaging the biological male (n=~18000) and biological female (n=~5000) “age of onset” separately, and then averaging those two scores together.
Age and fetish onset
16.9: Reproduction (pregnancy, surrogacy, oviposition, etc.)
16.6: Mental Alteration (hypnotism/mind control, amnesia, cocaine, etc.)
16.2: Sensory (electricity, vacuums, ASMR, tickling, etc.
16: Genderplay (sissification, futa, crossdressing, etc.)
15.7: Multiple partners (hotwifing, gangbangs, freeuse, threesomes, etc.)
15.7: Vore (consuming/being consumed, usually whole)
15.6: Humiliation (defilement, impotence, cuckoldry, ridicule, etc.)
15.5: Bodily secretions (farts, squirt, urine, blood, etc.)
15.5: Bondage (gags, shibari, handcuffs, etc.)
15.5: Toys (anal beads, pussy pumps, showerheads, etc.)
15.4: Power dynamics & D/s (obedience, findom, petplay, choking, etc.)
15.3: Gentleness (caretaking, healing, tantra, etc.)
15.2: Sadomasochism (spanking, needle play, clamps, torture, etc.)
15.1: Dirtiness/disgust/messiness (cakesitting, STDs, soiling, etc.)
15.1: Eagerness (begging, worshipping, teasing, etc.)
15.1: Nonconsent (rapeplay, body control, kidnapping, etc.)
15: Exhibitionism/voyeurism (peeping tom, flashing, public sex, etc.)
14.9: Roles (secretary, asians, catgirls, teachers, stoners, etc.)
14.9: Objects: nonstandard (hairbrushes, rope, cars, etc.)
14.9: Transformations (growth/shrinking, bodyswapping, furries, etc.)
14.9: Abnormal bodies and body parts (massive bellies, tails/horns, giants, etc.)
14.9: Creepy/horror (zombies, necrophilia, live insertions, etc.)
14.7: Bestiality/creatures (dogs, horses, dolphins, insects, squid, etc.)
14.4: Incest (cousins, parent/child, etc.)
14.4: Age: nonstandard (age gaps, ageplay, unusual ages, etc.)
14.2: Mythical/fictional creatures (dragons, vampires, aliens, MLP, etc.)
14.2: Clothing (latex, shoes, too-small, miniskirts, cameltoe, etc.)
14.2: Brutal/violent (gore, mutilation, amputations, drowning, etc.)
13.6: Body parts: normal, non-genital (elbows, knees, armpits, head hair, etc.)
13.1: Appearance states: static (tattoos, bodymods, skinniness, etc.)
(the number is “years old”; 16.2 is equivalent to 16 and 1/5th, not 16 and 2 months)
One theory I had is that earlier onset fetishes might partially be due to what you’re exposed to, and we’d expect to see more mundane, ‘everyday’ elements starting in the earlier years. But this doesn’t seem clearly true; we have some normal stuff like “appearance states”, “body parts”, and “clothing” as early-onset, but brutality is in there too, as well as mythical creatures. And late onset has stuff like “reproduction” (common for young kids to see if they have siblings!), “sensory” (super easily accessible to kids, e.g. tickling), and “genderplay” (gender elements are some of the earliest things kids are exposed to).
It does seem meaningful that the divide in years between fetish categories is so large; I partially expected to see a gap of maybe a year and a half between earliest and latest fetishes, but the fact that we have a nearly four year gap - an eternity in puberty years - makes me think age of fetish onset might be a more meaningful indicator of… something.
What about gaps between male and female fetish onsets?
Here’s a list of the difference in years between average straight, cis biological male and female fetish onsets.
(males earlier than females, descending)
1.47: Body parts: normal, non-genital (elbows, knees, armpits, head hair, etc.)
1.41: Dirtiness/disgust/messiness (cakesitting, STDs, soiling, etc.)
1.29: Clothing (latex, shoes, too-small, miniskirts, cameltoe, etc.)
1.19: Multiple partners (hotwifing, gangbangs, freeuse, threesomes, etc.)
1.00: Exhibitionism/voyeurism (peeping tom, flashing, public sex, etc.)
0.94: Transformations (growth/shrinking, bodyswapping, furries, etc.)
0.8: Bodily secretions (farts, squirt, urine, blood, etc.)
0.78: Roles (secretary, asians, catgirls, teachers, stoners, etc.)
0.76: Vore (consuming/being consumed, usually whole)
0.58: Genderplay (sissification, futa, crossdressing, etc.)
0.56: Eagerness (begging, worshipping, teasing, etc.)
0.5: Gentleness (caretaking, healing, tantra, etc.)
0.37: Mental Alteration (hypnotism/mind control, amnesia, cocaine, etc.)
0.24: Mythical/fictional creatures (dragons, vampires, aliens, MLP, etc.)
0.18: Appearance states: static (tattoos, bodymods, skinniness, etc.)
0.14: Reproduction (pregnancy, surrogacy, oviposition, etc.)
0.09: Incest (cousins, parent/child, etc.)
0.07: Abnormal bodies and body parts (massive bellies, tails/horns, giants, etc.)
0.05: Toys (anal beads, pussy pumps, showerheads, etc.)
(females earlier than males, ascending)
-0.16: Objects: nonstandard (hairbrushes, rope, cars, etc.)
-0.24: Bestiality/creatures (dogs, horses, dolphins, insects, squid, etc.)
-0.25: Sensory (electricity, vacuums, ASMR, tickling, etc.)
-0.33: Sadomasochism (spanking, needle play, clamps, torture, etc.)
-0.4: Age: nonstandard (age gaps, ageplay, unusual ages, etc.)
-0.54: Bondage (gags, shibari, handcuffs, etc.)
-0.88: Power dynamics & D/s (obedience, findom, petplay, choking, etc.)
-0.9: Humiliation (defilement, impotence, cuckoldry, ridicule, etc.)
-0.96: Creepy/horror (zombies, necrophilia, live insertions, etc.)
-1.2: Nonconsent (rapeplay, body control, kidnapping, etc.)
-1.6: Brutal/violent (gore, mutilation, amputations, drowning, etc.)
Avg biological female onset: 14.9
Avg biological male onset: 15.3
What strikes me here is that more traditionally female fetishes - the ones more disproportionately preferred by females over males - also have a disproportionately earlier onset. Power dynamics, nonconsent, brutality, bondage, etc - are all the lowest on the list. Maybe this is because females in general develop faster than males, but average male fetish onset was 15.3, and females 14.9 - a difference of 0.4, not very big.
I’m not totally sure what to make of this; if we take earlier-onset fetishes to mean more “biologically ingrained”, then this is a point in favor of some evolutionary theories. We could easily put a lot of different frames on it though, so right now I’m cautiously holding it as one piece to a much larger puzzle.
Gaps between trans and cis fetish onset
Here’s a list of the difference in years between average cis and trans fetish onsets (I similarly averaged trans men (n=319) and trans women (n=688) separately, and then averaged those two scores). Despite my overall hefty sample size, some of the subcategories get small here; the three smallest bins are the “dirty” fetish category with 90 trans people combined, ‘vore’ with 113, and ‘brutality’ has 176.
The top of this list is the smallest cis-to-trans age of onset fetish gap; the bottom is the greatest. There were no cis fetishes that started earlier than their counterpart trans fetish.
0.47: Brutal/violent (gore, mutilation, amputations, drowning, etc.)
0.54: Appearance states: static (tattoos, bodymods, skinniness, etc.)
0.89: Body parts: normal, non-genital (elbows, knees, armpits, head hair, etc.)
0.91: Bestiality/creatures (dogs, horses, dolphins, insects, squid, etc.)
1.04: Clothing (latex, shoes, too-small, miniskirts, cameltoe, etc.)
1.07: Exhibitionism/voyeurism (peeping tom, flashing, public sex, etc.)
1.08: Creepy/horror (zombies, necrophilia, live insertions, etc.)
1.09: Multiple partners (hotwifing, gangbangs, freeuse, threesomes, etc.)
1.12: Age: nonstandard (age gaps, ageplay, unusual ages, etc.)
1.2: Eagerness (begging, worshipping, teasing, etc.)
1.37: Gentleness (caretaking, healing, tantra, etc.)
1.39: Nonconsent (rapeplay, body control, kidnapping, etc.)
1.41: Abnormal bodies and body parts (massive bellies, tails/horns, giants, etc.)
1.41: Mythical/fictional creatures (dragons, vampires, aliens, MLP, etc.)
1.5: Roles (secretary, asians, catgirls, teachers, stoners, etc.)
1.57: Incest (cousins, parent/child, etc.)
1.74: Mental Alteration (hypnotism/mind control, amnesia, cocaine, etc.)
1.8: Toys (anal beads, pussy pumps, showerheads, etc.)
1.83: Dirtiness/disgust/messiness (cakesitting, STDs, soiling, etc.)
1.86: Humiliation (defilement, impotence, cuckoldry, ridicule, etc.)
1.9: Objects: nonstandard (hairbrushes, rope, cars, etc.)
1.91: Bondage (gags, shibari, handcuffs, etc.)
1.92: Power dynamics & D/s (obedience, findom, petplay, choking, etc.)
1.97: Reproduction (pregnancy, surrogacy, oviposition, etc.)
1.97: Sadomasochism (spanking, needle play, clamps, torture, etc.)
2.07: Sensory (electricity, vacuums, ASMR, tickling, etc.)
2.38: Bodily secretions (farts, squirt, urine, blood, etc.)
2.4: Vore (consuming/being consumed, usually whole)
2.45: Transformations (growth/shrinking, bodyswapping, furries, etc.)
2.92: Genderplay (sissification, futa, crossdressing, etc.)
Avg trans woman onset: 14
Avg trans men onset: 13.7
Avg cis man onset: 15.5
Avg cis woman onset: 15.3
Trans people who are interested in genderplay, got interested in it way earlier than their cis counterparts, with a whopping three year gap. Trans women especially have an earlier start, with an average beginning age of 13.4 compared to cis people at 16.7. Keep in mind this isn’t a reflection on absolute rates (more on that in an upcoming post)!
I’m again not totally sure what to make of this, beyond “gender identity and sexual interests are deeply related”; but this does make me put more weight on a prediction that “the cause of sexual interest in genderplay is very different in cis vs trans people”.
I’m planning on holding off any serious attempts at analysis until I churn through more data.
Gaps between sub and dom fetish onset
Because trans and cis fetishes are so different, I’m going to sometimes separate them out even when measuring unrelated things. Here’s cis-only fetishes, sorted by the difference of age of onset of people who identified as being sexually dominant vs submissive. Again, I averaged male (n=7831) and female doms (n=418) and subs (male n=2930, female n=2491) separately, then averaged those scores together.
Top of this list is “earlier onset for dominants”, and bottom is “earlier onset for submissives”, sorted deliberately in that order.
1.4: Dirtiness/disgust/messiness (cakesitting, STDs, soiling, etc.)
0.78: Incest (cousins, parent/child, etc.)
0.57: Creepy/horror (zombies, necrophilia, live insertions, etc.)
0.52: Bestiality/creatures (dogs, horses, dolphins, insects, squid, etc.)
0.5: Bodily secretions (farts, squirt, urine, blood, etc.)
0.46: Abnormal bodies and body parts (massive bellies, tails/horns, giants, etc.)
0.36: Mental Alteration (hypnotism/mind control, amnesia, cocaine, etc.)
0.29: Reproduction (pregnancy, surrogacy, oviposition, etc.)
0.28: Appearance states: static (tattoos, bodymods, skinniness, etc.)
0.28: Exhibitionism/voyeurism (peeping tom, flashing, public sex, etc.)
0.19: Body parts: normal, non-genital (elbows, knees, armpits, head hair, etc.)
0.16: Clothing (latex, shoes, too-small, miniskirts, cameltoe, etc.)
0.08: Brutal/violent (gore, mutilation, amputations, drowning, etc.)
0.05: Gentleness (caretaking, healing, tantra, etc.)
0.02: Multiple partners (hotwifing, gangbangs, freeuse, threesomes, etc.)
-0.04 Eagerness (begging, worshipping, teasing, etc.)
-0.06: Roles (secretary, asians, catgirls, teachers, stoners, etc.)
-0.22: Objects: nonstandard (hairbrushes, rope, cars, etc.)
-0.22: Toys (anal beads, pussy pumps, showerheads, etc.)
-0.27: Genderplay (sissification, futa, crossdressing, etc.)
-0.31: Mythical/fictional creatures (dragons, vampires, aliens, MLP, etc.)
-0.33: Vore (consuming/being consumed, usually whole)
-0.43: Nonconsent (rapeplay, body control, kidnapping, etc.)
-0.45: Sadomasochism (spanking, needle play, clamps, torture, etc.)
-0.53: Sensory (electricity, vacuums, ASMR, tickling, etc.)
-0.55: Humiliation (defilement, impotence, cuckoldry, ridicule, etc.)
-0.59: Transformations (growth/shrinking, bodyswapping, furries, etc.)
-0.68: Age: nonstandard (age gaps, ageplay, unusual ages, etc.)
-0.86: Power dynamics & D/s (obedience, findom, petplay, choking, etc.)
-0.93: Bondage (gags, shibari, handcuffs, etc.)
Avg dom cis male onset: 15.5
Avg dom cis female onset: 15.0
Avg sub cis male onset: 15.3
Avg sub cis female onset: 15.3
Gaps between gay and straight fetish onset
Same deal - averaged the straight (n=18,316), averaged the gay (n=2124), then averaged those two scores. This list is sorted with straight earlier onset first - except similarly to trans averages, no gay onset score was older than its corresponding straight onset score. The start of the list is the smallest gap, sorted to the biggest gap (and thus disproportionately earlier gay fetish onset).
0.33: Brutal/violent (gore, mutilation, amputations, drowning, etc.)
0.43: Body parts: normal, non-genital (elbows, knees, armpits, head hair, etc.)
0.46: Roles (secretary, asians, catgirls, teachers, stoners, etc.)
0.56: Exhibitionism/voyeurism (peeping tom, flashing, public sex, etc.)
0.57: Clothing (latex, shoes, too-small, miniskirts, cameltoe, etc.)
0.59: Multiple partners (hotwifing, gangbangs, freeuse, threesomes, etc.)
0.59: Appearance states: static (tattoos, bodymods, skinniness, etc.)
0.64: Eagerness (begging, worshipping, teasing, etc.)
0.71: Gentleness (caretaking, healing, tantra, etc.)
0.71: Nonconsent (rapeplay, body control, kidnapping, etc.)
0.73: Mental Alteration (hypnotism/mind control, amnesia, cocaine, etc.)
0.73: Objects: nonstandard (hairbrushes, rope, cars, etc.)
0.83: Transformations (growth/shrinking, bodyswapping, furries, etc.)
0.89: Sensory (electricity, vacuums, ASMR, tickling, etc.)
0.92: Bondage (gags, shibari, handcuffs, etc.)
0.94: Power dynamics & D/s (obedience, findom, petplay, choking, etc.)
0.96: Toys (anal beads, pussy pumps, showerheads, etc.)
0.99: Reproduction (pregnancy, surrogacy, oviposition, etc.)
0.99: Abnormal bodies and body parts (massive bellies, tails/horns, giants, etc.)
1.07: Humiliation (defilement, impotence, cuckoldry, ridicule, etc.)
1.08: Sadomasochism (spanking, needle play, clamps, torture, etc.)
1.08: Dirtiness/disgust/messiness (cakesitting, STDs, soiling, etc.)
1.08: Mythical/fictional creatures (dragons, vampires, aliens, MLP, etc.)
1.09: Bestiality/creatures (dogs, horses, dolphins, insects, squid, etc.)
1.12: Incest (cousins, parent/child, etc.)
1.28: Genderplay (sissification, futa, crossdressing, etc.)
1.32: Vore (consuming/being consumed, usually whole)
1.33: Creepy/horror (zombies, necrophilia, live insertions, etc.)
1.42: Age: nonstandard (age gaps, ageplay, unusual ages, etc.)
1.64: Bodily secretions (farts, squirt, urine, blood, etc.)
Avg gay onset: 14.7
Avg straight onset: 15.6
I have no idea what to make of this; it’s really fascinating that gay people report so much earlier fetish onsets, I wouldn’t have predicted it. Maybe gay people pay more attention to their sexual orientation earlier, because it’s non-default, and as such are more aware of their other sexual preferences much earlier?
Spreadsheet with full numbers here (including more subcategories you can check out for yourself)